Broken Hearts Break People
by sealitinwriting
Summary: Post Malec. Alec takes up drinking and partying to get over Magnus. Magnus however becomes more withdrawn and less like his magnificent self. Can this couple be mended? Will they ever be able to get together, or is Alec too far gone in his new, broken ways to fix what they had? Disclaimer; I do not own TMI, or any of the characters from the series. All CC.
1. Hearts break

Take a step, falter. Try again, hit the ground. His ability to walk was fading as his body gave deeper into the intoxication.

"Are you okay?" Distant voices chanted in unison as he collapsed to the ground. Giving up on moving, he backed against the wall, giving a small sigh before a smile and nod.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He laughed, eyes remaining closed.

"Alec, you're drunk." A familiar face crouched down in front of him while trying to gain his attention.

"No, I am not. I barely had anything, really." His voice slurred slightly, but not enough to miss words.

"That's what most drunks say. Here, let me help you up and we'll find you somewhere to lay down." Isabelle gripped his hand and pulled his arm hard, leaving him upright once again.

"Shit Iz. Not so fast." He mumbled, rocking on his feet.

"Sorry." She laughed in reply while placing her hands on his shoulder to balance him out. Once the world stopped turning, and his vision straightened out, Alec went for his first step toward the hallway. The living room was a maze of furniture and people making this seem like an impossible endeavour. He was almost incapable of walking a couple steps forward, let alone having to walk around objects, lengthening the distance. Sucking in a deep breath, Alec ventured into the crowd with Iz at his side for precautionary reasons. Music was blaring, and literally shaking the walls as the bass hit, and they had strobe lights going off as well making every move a complicated one for Alec's already confused mind. He took one small, unconfident step at a time until he finally reached the kitchen, mere feet away from the hall to the bedrooms.

"I've been looking for you." Arms reached around his waist, and hair brushed by his neck. Alec didn't have to turn to look at the person. Their voice was as familiar to him as his own parents.

"Magnus.." He whispered flipping around quickly. His teeth dug into his bottom lip while he stared up into the glitter covered cat eyes he so often found himself getting lost in.

"Who else would it be?" Magnus straightened himself out and on his black jacket. For an ordinary mundane party, it surprising that the high warlock would even make an appearance, let alone dress so formally for the occasion.

"I thought you were done with me." Alec's voice almost disappeared by the end of the sentence as he looked down.

"I would never be done with you." Magnus' voice was confident as he lifted Alec's head with his fingers, and pulled his body into his. Alec fidgeted with his fingers, not sure what to take of the situation. This was not something he expected after the last time they met. Actually, his heartbreak was the reason he was even here, drinking for the first time. This was all too much but he knew he would give into Magnus, and all it would take was a look. One gaze into those eyes. One sweep of the face he loved so, and he was done. Taking a chance, Alec shoved their lips together, afraid this might be his last chance. Magnus immediately wrapped his arms around his waist, and pulled him closer. Forcing them into the closest wall, Alec pressed against him, deepening their kiss. His only reassurance that this was okay was the cold fingertips running up the back of his shirt up his spine but that was enough for him. The warmth of his body was all he needed to feel okay. He let out a hot sigh against his mouth and he pulled away slightly.

"I love you." He mumbled, Magnus' lips now travelling across his jaw. These were the moments he craved when he sat alone in his room. Alec reached his hands up, burying his fingers deep into his hair as his lips moved to his neck. His breathing picked up as he moved his head back, exposing more skin for him. His mind was giving into the pleasure when he suddenly pulled backwards hard by his sweater.

"What the hell are you doing, Alec? I turn my back for one minute, and the next thing I know you're practically getting it on with some stranger. At least have the decency to do that in private, away from my eyes." Iz lectured as she dragged him down the hall. Alec's eyes widened at the word stranger, and jerked his head back to the wall. Leaning against it was a tall lanky blonde, with short hair and dark brown eyes. He had a couple facial piercings, and wasn't the worst looking at the party, but he was no Magnus. "I never took you as the guy for a random hookup. I never thought I'd see you drunk though, and here we are." She continued while opening a door to a free room. Alec walked to the bed and just dropped, ready to start moping around again. His heart was starting to ache again.

"I thought it was Magnus." His voice shook as he buried his into the blankets. Isabelle took a seat next to him and set her arm awkwardly on his back.

"Are you really that hung up on him still. " She tried her best to sound calm but she was shaking with rage towards him. How could Magnus just leave Alec like that? Could he not tell how hopelessly in love with him he was?

"I see him in everyone, and I desperately grasp onto every moment that I have with him, even if it isn't real." Alec's voice cracked, making it apparent he was on the verge of tears. This is what love did. It broke people, even the strongest ones she knew. Love looked more like a curse than a blessing.

"Alec. Look what you let him do to you. You let him break you. You let him inside your mind and your heart, and he took advantage of that. He just left you, left you to become this mess you are now. You deserve better than that stupid warlock." Isabelle jumped up trying to emphasize her point.

"You don't get it Iz." Alec sat up, his fingers tightly latched onto the blanket. "This is my fault. Why do you keep blaming him for something that I did? If I had just trusted him, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be like this, but I am, and I deserve it. I broke myself. Do you understand? He isn't stupid. He is the best thing that had ever happened to me and I lost him at my own will, by my own decisions. I could be happy, lying on a coach at his apartment right now watching whatever mundane show that had captured his attention at the time, but I'm not. I'm here, and there is no one to blame but myself. "Alec yelled as he got up and made his way towards the door.

"Alec, where are you going?" Isabelle called out after him.

"Somewhere you aren't." He grumbled as he walked back into the party having sobered up enough to walk on his own. The blonde was still against the wall, as if he waiting for him. His eyes shifted to Alec before leaving after him. Isabelle let out a loud sigh.

"I just care about you." She whispered to herself as they both went out of sight.


	2. Change

_**I really meant to update this a while ago, but I got sidetracked with books. I've been reading so much lately, and the spare time I had where I wasn't, I spent it writing the book I am working on. Hoping that goes well. Anyway,I hope you don't mind that I completely made up a character and brought him into this; Blake. Also, there is a reason there isn't even a description of the girl Magnus is talking to. Her identity is a secret for now, but you might be able to guess who she is. I promise I wont wait so long to update next time if you enjoy this, and for now, have 1,000 more words than last time to hopefully make up for my absence. Here is Magnus' POV, and if you wish you can tell me in a review if you want the next chapter to be in his POV again, or if you would prefer Alec's. **_

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Magnus tossed in his bed, kicking away the blankets. It was almost impossible to do anything in the slump he was in. The Alec slump. All of his thoughts were consumed by that unkempt boy in ugly black clothes that were long past saving. He'd never felt this way after a break up before. Especially one that he chose to end. This was a whole new experience to him and made him question ever relationship beforehand. Was this what heartbreak felt like? If so, Magnus was not a fan. He felt empty and torn up inside like someone had forcefully removed all his vital organs and he somehow managed to stay alive, although every task was the hardest and most painful thing he had ever done. He didn't even want to turn around in fear that he would spot something that reminded him of the boy that was weighing down his chest. With a large sigh, Magnus launched himself up and out of bed running his fingers through his hair. It was 4 in the afternoon. He had already wasted half the day laying bed, moping. This was it; he was done with. It had already been a month. After a quick shower, Magnus gathered everything Alec either missed gathering, or items that just brought back painful memories and put them in one of two boxes. One was to be brought to the institute for him and the other to be burned as soon as possible. The burn box included things such as pictures of them in Europe, a ragged sweater Magnus couldn't stand the thought of seeing anyone in, a bright blue jacket that reminded him of Alec's eyes, and the extra pillow he had bought for Alec since one was not enough for him. Kicking that box to the other side of the room, he snapped his fingers and the box burst into flames. He couldn't give himself the time to think about that decision because he knew he would give in and put off getting rid of it indefinitely. The return box was almost overflowing however. Things he couldn't bear to see in flames such as the blue scarf he bought Alec, a couple suitable shirts that actually lacked holes, the cds he bought him to educate him on music, among many other mementoes. Not in the mood to be his fabulous self, Magnus dressed in blue jeans and a plain white shirt, leaving his makeup untouched, and his hair messy. With one last look at how lifeless his house felt now, he headed out the door towards the institute. By this time it was already dark outside. More than once Magnus almost turned around and changed his mind on delivering the box. He was afraid the sight of Alec would break him down, and leave him begging for him back, but that couldn't happen. They were done, they had to be. Alec tried to shorten his life. It wasn't some minor fight like someone losing keys that normal couples had. This was a big deal, and the fact that Alec had even considered it caught him off guard. This was his decision, and too large for someone to make for him. Before Magnus knew it, he was in front of the doors. He was caught in his thoughts the whole walk over, it felt like he just left his home. Without hesitation he knocked on the doors, with high hopes of Isabelle answering. He could feel his stomach dropping as the wait began with high hopes that it would be anyone but Alec. Lucky for him, Isabelle was the one behind the door, a look of confusion on her face.

"Magnus, what are you-" She leaned into the door, taping her fingers along the wood.

"Alec's not here is he? I just brought by some of his things I found lying around my apartment. Cleaning.." he forced a smile as he motioned at the box by his feet.

"No, he's at Blake's party. No offence Magnus, but you look awful. What happened?" Her voice carried out concern but Magnus only heard the first part of what she said.

"Blakes? Who is that?" His voice was stern.

"Some guy he met at a party I took him to. The guy was all over him, followed him around the whole night. Guess that tactic worked for him though because now him and Alec are always together. Sort of turned him into a bit of an alcoholic if you ask me." Isabelles eyes went to the floor, showing she did not like his new behaviour.

"Alec doesn't drink, or go to parties." Magnus said, angry that someone was corrupting his innocent Alec.

"Oh Magnus," Isabelle sighed, "How things have changed since you two broke up," Magnus eyes drifted to the ground. He never imagined that Alec would have changed so drastically in the short of amount of time they had been separated already.

"He's not with anyone, is he?" The words had slipped out of Magnus' mouth before he even had the chance to process them. Isabelle's face lit up at his comment.

"Is that your way of saying you would take him back? Magnus! Let's go to Blake's so you can get my brother back." Isabelle had the door closed and was already heading down the stairs before she even finished her sentence.

"That isn't what I meant." He was still by the door, watching as she kept walking.

"Magnus Bane, it would be very unlike you to turn down a party." She did have a point. Magnus never turned down any parties. After a couple seconds of thinking, he finally had a response, "I'll go put on some glitter."

After close to an hour of Magnus getting ready, and a short 10minutes walk, Magnus and Isabelle were finally approaching Blake's house. They stood outside it for a moment, studying the appearance. Nothing unusual popping out at them, they started towards the door. Isabelle reached up to knock, but Magnus had grabbed her arm, giving her a questionable look,

"Is he a mundane?"

"He's a rogue vampire." She spoke emotionally and hit the door three times.

"A vampire?" Magnus started, leaning into the wall beside the door and rubbing his fingers, "This is going to be one crazy party then." As if on cue with his words, the door flung upon and the banging bass was now vibrating her entire body. The entire living room was filled with people dancing and grinding on each other with drinks in their hands. There were people making out in the hallways, and other passed out drunk along the stairway. Isabelle walked through the room, demanding a path be made for her, as she moved.

"A shadowhunter" was being hissed and whispered all through the room.

"Hello Magnus" A unfamiliar voice floated into his ear as a girl slid in front of him. Magnus tried to ignore her and walk past her but she kept blocking him.

"I'm not here to talk. I'm looking for someone." He finally got ahead of here and was trying to figure out where Isabelle had gone when she spoke again.

"Looking for your little shadowhunter? Oh, wait. I heard his was no longer yours. Immortality is such a hassle, don't you think. He was going to wither away, his beauty fading, and all you would have been able to do is watch as the years brought him closer to death and you closer to being alone once again. I assume you never would have lasted long with him once he had lost the looks you longed for though anyway." She spoke in a superior type of way. Like she viewed herself above everyone else.

"I loved him!" Magnus snapped back at her, "I love him. Not his looks, him. I would have given up all the years ahead of me for him. To finally grow old with someone I loved. To not have to watch him die and be stuck with the grief for centuries. The weight of loss is a heavy burden to hold upon your shoulders, especially when you live forever."

"What a touching, yet horribly tragic story. "She rolled her eyes as she approached him. "Must have sucked when he went behind your back with your ex and betrayed your trust. You know sometimes Magnus, honesty is all people need to hear, and perhaps if you had told him everything he wanted to know you'd still have him. Maybe he wouldn't have been manipulated by the conniving Camille who even put the ideas in his head in the search for answers you were resistant in giving, and it would be you over there with him and not that vampire boy." Magnus turned his head and saw the familiar black haired and pale skin in his usual ratty clothes sitting on the lap of some blonde boy. His back was to him and he had a bottle of beer in each hand. Alec had his arms raised as he moved with the music, the other boy's fingers trailing up and down his sides. Flinging his head back, Alec put his beer to his mouth and took a long drink, finishing it off and setting it down.

"Who is tha-" Magnus turned to see the girl had disappeared among the crowd . Directing his attention once again to Alec he saw him pouring his other beer in the boy's mouth from above, the liquid occasionally missing his mouth and running down his face and neck. Magnus could see the blonde's lips moving, but he couldn't hear him over the music. Getting the nerve to approach them Magnus could hear Alec's laugh and a pain developed in his chest.

"I'm sorry." He could hear Alec's words, like his ears were sensitive to his voice. The other boy just gave Alec a smile and grabbed onto his shirt, pulling him close enough that their mouths could touch. Magnus stopped dead in his tracks when he saw them kiss. He knew he had been the first person to ever kiss Alec, and there was a part of him that wished he was going to be the only person, even after they broke up. It was like he lost ability to move. All he could do was stare, and it was killing him inside to witness it. As the surprise subsided, rage built up inside him, an immense hatred for the blonde. Even more so when he saw his hands travel up Alecs shirt. Right when Magnus was about to storm over there, an outstretched arm appeared above them, cup in hand. He watched as they slowly tipped it, spilling a dark liquid over the both of them, but mostly the blonde. Magnus couldn't help but smile as the boy cursed and wiped his face, his grin growing even wider when he noticed who the arm belonged to, Isabelle.

"Blake, it would be in your best interest to watch yourself with my brother. He would never let you do that sober in front of all these people. You respect him, and you will not take advantage of his being drunk." Isabelle threw the cup on the ground, her speech drawing attention from many around them.

"Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! I can watch myself, Iz." Alec was standing up now, his eyes only going up to Isabelle for a moment. His attention was mainly focused on Blake who was doing his best to stay out of the conversation.

"If you're calling this vampire your boyfriend, it tells me you can't. Alec all you do is get drunk. You haven't been out hunting or anything in a month. I know you went through a bad breakup, but the rest of us are getting ready for a war. You have responsibilities, and sitting on a chair with some downworlder, drinking, is not one." The tone of her voice said that Isabelle had been keeping that bottled in for a while, only now having the courage to say it to Alec's face.

"You don't get to say what I can't do, and you don't get to talk to people I care for like that. You've said what you need to, and I have nothing to say to you, so you can go now." Alec spoke quietly. This was obviously the last conversation he wanted to, or even expected to be having.

"I just came," Isabelle was staring intently at him, even though he was avoiding her eyes, "because I thought you'd like to see Magnus." Alec flicked his head up immediately at Magnus' name, gaining his full attention. With a nod of her head in his direction, he began to slowly turn until he was facing him. Magnus hadn't moved since he witnessed Blake kiss Alec, but he was still in full view. The expression on Alec's face changed from anger to blank like he was unsure of how to feel; that made two of them. His blue eyes captured his attention first, and Magnus swore for a brief moment he could see the deep sadness in his eyes.

"Magnus," His voice sounded as if it got caught in his throat, "Is it really you?"


	3. Distance

_**Remember when I promised to update soon? Yeah, that was yesterday and here is the next chapter already. Basically, I couldn't sleep last night and thought I would write it. I was going to wait a bit to upload it but my friend seems desperate to read this so I will put it up today. In Alecs POV. I wrote Magnus' too, but I prefer this one. Anyway, next chapter has Jace and will be up soon. Not tomorrow though, ahah. Perhap after the weekend? That sounds like a good time to upload it. Thanks for reading this, I appreciate all of you! **_

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"Magnus," His voice sounded as if it got caught in his throat, "Is it really you?"

Alec was at a loss of words as he looked at the one face he couldn't get out of his mind; the one that was plastered on the back of his eyelids, and haunted his every dream. When Magnus nodded his head, it took everything in him not to run over and grab him, beg him to stay with him and never leave him again. He couldn't though, he wouldn't. He was stronger than that. Magnus left him because he wasn't good enough, and if he wasn't then, he wasn't now either. He was never going to be. "A month." Alec mumbled under his breath. "It's been an entire month since I last saw you, and this, this is when you chose to see me?" His voice was tinted with rage. "Not really in your expectations, am I? Not as good, and in the same situation. Did I ever tell you that I hate immortality? But here I am again, drawn to the ones who will live long past me." Blake had now made his way behind Alec, wrapping his arms around him.

"Babe," His voice carried a hurt tone, "You're good how you are, and I promise you that I will do better than your last treated you. I would never just leave you alone. I won't break your heart." Blake was throwing words at Magnus, his stare piercing at him.

"Alec-" Magnus started. There were no words that could fix how either of them felt, and they were both aware. Although the feelings were still clearly there, neither felt the security, or had trust in the other to say what was on their mind. All Alec had ever wanted was to be loved by Magnus. He had even proved it by coming out to everyone just to keep him in his life, and Magnus couldn't even tell him his father's name. If he wasn't trusted with small details like that, how could he expect him to tell him the things that actually mattered? It couldn't have been that big of a surprise to know that he went out in search of the answers himself. Maybe he took the wrong approach and over stepped the boundaries. He didn't think he should be forgiven for his mistakes, but he only ever did it out of love. He wanted Magnus for the rest of his life, and wanted to him to be in the same situation. Alec sighed looking at the ground. It wasn't fair when 'til death do us part' would only count for one of them.

"Magnus, right?" Blake tightened his grip around Alec's waist. "I don't think I invited you to this party. I also don't think that Alec wants to speak to you right now, do ya babe?" Both are their eyes went to Alec who avoided them, afraid to make contact with either. "Maybe you should leave." Alec's body tensed at the idea of him leaving. A month had been torture for him, how long until he would see him again. How long until the next time he got to hear his voice, or see the glitter on his face and his hair sparkle in the lights. How long until he could look into his catlike eyes and just pretend that nothing else was happening. He couldn't say anything though. His words would fall short. There was so much that couldn't be changed, the kind of things that would always be a problem. The only thing Alec could do was stare, his gaze slowly moving up Magnus' body. He was becoming overwhelmed with sadness. Here was the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world, and he couldn't have it. They were only around a foot away, but they may as well have been across the universe from each other. Unable to last another moment in that room, Alec disattached himself from Blake and headed for the door, needing to get away from this. He could hear the faint holler from Blake above the music, but other than that he didn't do much to stop him from leaving. By the time he made it outside, he gasped for air. He couldn't tell if he had been holding his breath, or if the reality of the situation was just weighing down on his chest but being outside made him fell less suffocated.

"That new boyfriend of yours. He seems nice." Magnus' voice was soft. His footsteps had been so quiet; Alec never even noticed he had followed him.

"Sometimes." Was all he could get out for a reply. He didn't mean it make it sound as though he didn't like Blake, because he did. He was a decent guy, but his feelings would never compare to his feelings for Magnus. Everything else was dulled; nothing lived up to what he had once felt.

"Doesn't sound like the type of guy you should be with if they best answer you have is 'sometimes'" Magnus had forced a smile onto his face, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Magnus, I can't small talk you. I don't know if I can talk to you at all. I see you, and all I think is how much I want you. There is no moment I craved more than being in front of you again, but I can't do this. I can't relive all these feelings and not be able to do anything about it. We need to face that I never deserved you and get over this, over each other. Move on with our lives." Alec was embracing himself, tightening his arms with each word. "I love you, but we can't do this to one another. I can't do this to me. I really can't do this to you if you feel the same. Not now anyway." Magnus reached out his arm to touch Alec, but stopped. The pain he was feeling must have been obvious. He was currently fighting an inner battle of letting go off his all his problems for a moment and just grabbing onto Magnus, or breaking into tears.

"Can we at least talk about this? I'll take you anywhere just to hear your voice more? We could go back to Euro-"

"Not now. Not when I feel like this." Alec felt like his arms were the only things keeping him from falling apart.

"Have you talked to Jace? I know he probably seems busy burning on the inside, but I really think he could help you feel better. A lot more than getting drunk does." Magnus smiled. After a couple awkward, silent minutes passed Magnus turned, beginning to walk away down the street. Alec never thought of burdening Jace with his problems. He had so many of his own. The only person he had turned to was Isabelle, and her help got him here.

"You know," Alec called out after him, waiting for him to look over his shoulder before continuing, "I'm living off that kiss in the subway. I'm glad you agreed to it." Magnus gave him a grin before turning back in the direction he was headed, towards his apartment.

"Me too." He replied as he started walking. Maybe they still had a chance. Maybe they could get past this eventually. Maybe they weren't as far away as Alec had thought.


	4. Drunk

_**I was going to put this up on Monday, but I lost internet and I'm only able to put this up right now because I am at my sisters. I'll put Chapter 5 up as soon as I can. Thank you for the reviews everyone! It means a lot to me, and I will continue this as long as people are up for reading this. I have tons of ideas to keep this going for a while, so I hope you enjoy it. All of you reading this are lovely!**_

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Alec couldn't go back inside. He was positive Isabelle was still inside and he wasn't up for seeing her again yet, and the same for Blake. He needed time away from everyone, from everything. Though alcohol may numb the pain, it gave one hell of a hangover, especially to your life. Hazy, faded, blacked out nights followed by the anguish in the morning of being brought back to reality. Being brought back to the problems you were trying to avoid, except more so. Now it's followed with the guilt of what you may have done the night before, knowing that you made new mistakes and did things you'd never have done sober, and now this is your problem. So you drink again, and start this vicious circle that rips apart your life, as it works at your liver, slowly killing you but not as fast as you want it to. Not as fast as you're dying inside so you continue this life. You go from the blurred memories that you can only remember in flashes to what things are, how you are now and feel the pain. Relive the sickness you go through every morning after, but this time it isn't going away with Tylenol and sleep because this is it, this is your life and all you can do is feel nauseous as you watch everything you had leave. Watch your life as it falls apart and the only thought to be had is; 'I need a drink.' He felt like he was stumbling through his life and now he was falling, faster and harder as he got closer to the ground and there nothing left to save him. Being a shadow hunter, Isabelle and Jace, Magnus, all things that once mattered, all things he once had. They could claim to still love him, but was he still worthy of it? He was no longer who he once was. Alexander was the name of many greats, defenders, warriors, people that gave it a high meaning, but he didn't fall into of that. Maybe that's why he liked Alec so much, unlike Alex it was more cut off from the name, one he was not able to fill. He was not worth all the meaning behind it. Not worth anything at all. Alec had begun wandering, but had got so caught up in his self-pity that it wasn't until the path ended that he realized where he was; the edge of the park. He glanced around. No one was around but that wasn't unusual for the time of night it was. Perfect for the sulking he was about to do as he leaned back against the tree trunk and slid down to the ground. Maybe he would get lucky, and just never have to leave this spot. He hadn't had the chance to drink enough before he left and now he could feel the effects of his intoxication wearing off. The warmth fading from his body and the feeling coming back to his limbs, the feelings come back to him stronger than before. He wasn't suicidal, never would he even consider taking his own life, there was no honor in that, not that he had any, but if this ache, this overwhelming feeling of nothingness that ate away him, matching with this enormous sadness is what people felt before committing such an action, he understood the point. Understood wanting the escape, because it felt as though there was no other way. This feeling followed him everywhere, even to his drunken states but at least there it was less intense, easier to try and run from.

"Alexander Lightwood, nice to see you again." A short girl emerged from the trees to his right. "Funny how I came across Magnus earlier tonight, and now I've run into you. Such a waste he left such a beauty like you, and such as mess you've made of your life now."

Alec felt a deep anger developing inside him. People talking about Magnus brought up buried rage. "Maureen." He spit out his words with anger. She talked like she expected him to thank her for killing Camille, as if he was now in debt to her for murdering the person who caused his break up with Magnus. Like she didn't just want to be the vampire leader.

"Alec, I would watch how you speak to me. See, I was hoping to run into you because I have news. Something you might be interested in." Maureen tilted her head as she smiled deviously, not something that made you want to trust the person. Alec raised his eyebrows slightly, not sure of what to expect from someone like her.  
"Like.." Was all that came out of his mouth. Not that anything else had to be said.  
"`Oh, believe me; you're going to want to hear this."

"Magnus, you need to stop pacing. You're wrecking the floor." Jace teased, seated in one of the chairs in the library as the sparkly warlock walked from one side of the room, to the other.

"How can no one have seen him in 3 days? How are you not worried?" Magnus stopped walking to look out the window for a brief moment, then continued back to the wall across from him. He never should have just left Alec outside like that. They didn't leave on a bad note but he knew - he **knew **Alec wasn't doing well, and we all abandoned him, left him. Magnus may had started the fall, but everyone else just watched as he tumbled downwards, bottling inside their opinions and just letting him go down into his hole.

"I am worried." Jace got out of his chair, "Don't you dare accuse me of not worrying about Alec. I care about him, and I know you do too, but there isn't much we can do right other than our search parties. Magnus, there is only so much that can be done by only a handful of people." The anger was apparent in his voice. Magnus had never seen Jace get mad so easily before or at all really. He was unsure if it was because of his condition now that he was just really irritable, or if it was because it was Alec they were talking about.

"I just want him back." Magnus sighed resting his back against a wall.  
"Really, because last I heard, you didn't want him at all. You're the one who left him, Magnus. He's like this because you let him get this way." Jace was pointing harshly at him as he spoke. "I know," He started again, "I can tell by looking at you that you're not dealing with this break up well either but this is your doing."

"He didn't just forget an anniversary Jace. He tried to shorten my life. That isn't something you can take lightly. I did what I had to do." Magnus replied crossing his arms. He couldn't pretend it was minor like he wanted him to. He had to leave him. He couldn't be with someone who would act like taking away his years was their decision and not his. That isn't what couples were supposed to do.  
"I.." Jace was cut off by someone opening the door. In the crack of the door they saw pale fingers connected to the body of the boy they were just discussing. His head was down as he walked inside, not looking at either in the face.

"Hi." Alec said, his hair hanging in his face.

"What the hell, Alec. Where have you been?" Jace yelled at him while walking over and grabbing Alec tightly. "With everything happening right now, you can't just disappear like that."

"I'm sorry." Alec apologized, flipping his hair out of his face. Magnus caught sight of his eyes for a moment before he looked away completely. The sadness and vulnerability were weighing heavily in his gaze. Maybe Alec didn't need rescuing anymore, but he did need saving.


	5. Side Effects

**I still do not have internet at my house, but that gave me a lot of time to write the next couple chapters of this. I'm uploading this one now and the next chapter on Thursday, possibly. I also started an ooc malec that I just posted, and I have another story coming up maybe next week, but it's not mortal instruments this time. We'll see how that goes. I have a lot of free time on my hands, and this is practice for the book I am writing. All your feedback means a lot to me, and I hope you guys like this. You wont be left hanging on the ending for long I hope. Thank you for reviews, and I hope to keep you guys happy and interested as I continue this.**

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Magnus had to force himself to stay put. He wanted so desperately to run up to Alec and hold him in a tight, secure embrace that stopped him from ever disappearing in his life, or literally like he just did ever again, but he couldn't. They weren't dating anymore. They weren't even friends again yet. It was no longer his job to hold him, and worry that much about him. This was Blake's. Although he seemed absent from the whole situation. Not that he could even walk into the institute, but they never even received a call curious to where he could be. Obviously Alec hadn't looked very hard for this guy; he didn't seem to care much about him. Alec deserved better. He deserved him, but Magnus constantly found himself questioning if he deserved Alec or did he deserve better. Better than Alec? That seemed hard to come by, but he wondered if he at least deserved to be treated better than how he was treated by him. If he deserved having trust put in him, not constantly interrogated on past lovers, not having his life possibly shortened without even his consent. Or was that something he always would have to deal with? He was aware all couples had their problems, but they weren't like all couples. They had a whole different kind of problems but they did love each other. Next question logically being, is love enough? Is love enough to get past all these obstacles? This one was different than all the others. Different than any time he ever used that word. It felt more real but in turn, it also felt more broken. If this was true love, how could anyone want this? How could anyone want to feel this way? When things were good, everything felt amazing, unreal even, but when things got bad you felt at your lowest. Like there was no possible way to feel any worse than you do right now. That was where he was at right now. The lowest he'd ever been, but he had been down before. Never this down, but he knew how to deal with it, how to cope and not go into a downward spiral. Something told him that Alec didn't know how to do that. It hurt to see him like this. It had him contemplating whether or not he could take him back. Would he? Could he forgive Alec for his actions? Maybe eventually but he wasn't sure if now was the time. That's when Magnus looked up and noticed Alec was staring at him with a pleading look. Like he was begging him to tell him he was okay, but he couldn't do that, because he didn't know. Alec looked broken, shattered, and all he wanted was the lie. The lie to help him pretend that everything was fine, even when it wasn't. As much as Magnus wanted to give it to him, he couldn't. He wanted to help fix him, but not by saying things he didn't believe. Instead he told him, "It's nice to see that you're not injured. We were all very worried about you."

"You** all **were?" Alec's eyes were focused on Magnus as he replied. Like the statement was focused on him. That he only needed to know he was still cared for him enough to worry.

"Well, I'm not sure Blake even noticed you were missing." Magnus fidgeted awkwardly. Alec's head immediately went down. That wasn't the response he was looking for, he knew that. Why couldn't he just tell him he was worried? Why was that what came out instead? That was the sort of thing to say to worsen a mood, not make it better.

"Oh." Alec mumbled. Luckily that was when Jace decided to cut back in.

"Where were you anyway?" His eyes were scanning Alec, like he was searching for some sort of hint of a whereabouts.

"I just needed to get away for a bit. I apologize for worrying you. I figured a couple of days wouldn't have done any harm." His eyes were darting around like he was searching for something. "I see I was wrong and it will not happen again." There was something up with his response. The way he was talking, and looking around like that. It made it seem so false, but why would he lie about where he was? What could he have been doing that he couldn't tell them about?

"Alec.." Magnus started, staring intently at him. Alec was already returning the gaze, but his was filled with less curiosity and more vulnerability. All it took was one glance at the both of them for Jace to take the hint and leave the room.

"Alec, what's been up with you lately? You seem so-"

"Lost? Depressed? Broken?" Alec started throwing out words to finish the sentence. "Was that what you going for? Or maybe you were going to say 'down', and pretend this isn't as bad as it is. We'll act like I'm just a bit sad that I lost the one that I love and myself along with him, have a talk about how things get better, and then get on with our day. You can go back to your merry warlock ways, and I can go back to drowning myself in alcohol." Magnus was stunned. That isn't what he expected Alec to say in the slightest. He wasn't even sure how he was planning on finishing that anymore, because now he was looking at the boy who had his heart broken fold up on himself. He broke that heart, but what was he supposed to do? He knew Alec needed him right now but there wasn't much he could do. Nothing, but hold him, so that is what he did. Magnus approached him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. That's when he realized maybe this isn't what Alec needed, but what Magnus did. He needed to know he could touch him, and not make things worse, for either of them. What Alec needed to do was let everything out, which is what he was beginning to do. He could feel Alec's body shake, and bounce as he cried, first softly and then hard. It looked as though this was the first time he was actually allowing himself to cry, and not forcing himself to hold it back. It felt so backed up, and that he no longer had control of it. That it was all just coming out on its own now. He pulled out of Magnus' arms and backed away, tears streaming down his face. "This is because of you." He whispered. "You don't get to hold me and act like everything is okay, like you're helping me." Alec rubbed his cheek angrily. "You aren't. You aren't!" He yelled grabbing the lamp off the table and throwing it to the ground. "Nothing is okay anymore!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Magnus put his arms up as he took a step towards him.

"No! Stay away from me!" Alec swung around and punched the wall, making a large hole. Ignoring his cut up and now bleeding hand, he bent over holding his ears while screaming, "Go away!" Magnus was alarmed by this whole scene. Never had he seen Alec act in such a way. All he could do was watch this unfold with wide eyes. Jace soon burst through the door with Isabelle behind him.

"What's going on?" Jace spun around the room looking for some sort of enemy, a trigger to this behaviour. When he found nothing, he walked straight toward Magnus. "What did you do to him?" He glared.

"Nothing, I just held him while he cried." Magnus has too shocked at what was happening to really care about what Jace had to say. Isabelle now had begun trying to grab Alec when he exploded into a fit of more screaming, and kicking, fighting against her.

"Don't touch me!" He yelled, pushing her away. He was now on the ground, leaning against the wall. Her face seemed full of surprise and then hurt as her brother continued this act. Jace quickly left Magnus and was grabbing Alec by the arms, holding them to his side.

"Alec. Alec, stop. What's wrong?" Jace shook him slightly with every word. In response, Alec just leaned into him, sobbing once again.

"I think it's time you left." Isabelle started to escort Magnus out of the library when Alec started talking normally again. It was in a hushed voice, but Jace helped by repeating the things he said.

"Who said this would happen?" Jace moved closer to hear him better. That drew all of their attention in. "Fits of rage, manic behaviour, side effects? Side effects of what?" Jace paused, thinking for a moment. "Alec, what did you do while you were gone? Alec!" He was now gripping hard onto his shirt, his voice filling with panic. Alec was no longer moving. Why was he no longer moving? What was happening? Magnus pushed passed Isabelle and ran to the opposite side Jace was on. He was still alive; he was just no longer conscious.

"Alec." Magnus spoke quietly as he brushed his hand through his hair. His face was radiating heat and his breathing was shallow and raspy. "What did you do?"


	6. Promise

**I apologize not only for this being late, but the abundance of errors that are most likely in here. More than usual anyway. I wrote this in a spare hour I had, and didn't have the time to reread it because I wanted to get this up as soon as possible. I'm aware I said Thursday, and this is a Thursday, just a week later than I said it would be. I am just having a lot of problems that aren't really putting me in the mood to write, and when I do write, I prioritized my story above my fanfictions. This isn't exactly how planned on the story going, I'm not even sure I like this chapter at all, but I wanted this up, so I just sort of went with it. Sorry, again. I wont promise another day when an update will be up again, because I don't know if I'll be able to deliver, but it will be soon. Now, enough of this, I'm sure you're tired of reading what I have to say and want to get to the story so I'll wrap it up. I appreciate all your reviews and your time while reading this. You guys are amazing. **

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Brother Zachariah had been with Alec for over an hour, who still remained unconscious and Magnus was finding it incredibly hard to remain patient when it came to that boy's wellbeing. "Why is taking so long? I should go in there and check for myself." Magnus stood up and was about to start walking when Jace grabbed him by the arm.

"No. You're not allowed in there. This is because of you. You triggered something in him that caused this. You are to stay away from him. If it wasn't for Isabelle's persuasion, I wouldn't even let you be here right now." Jace ran his fingers through his hair, his worry apparent in his face. It was weighing down on him. 'This is because of you,' that was exactly what Alec had said to him before he started freaking out. This was because of him. He was aware it was his fault, and it was becoming more clear to him that maybe it wasn't the case on how to fix it, but on how to let it go. Let Alec go, and have him do the same. Wasn't the whole point? They were supposed to cut off ties completely. He planned it that when they broke up, but he was drawn back and that proved to be dangerous.

"This is the only time I'm ever going to be heard saying this but, you're right Jace. I should leave." Magnus said as he motioned towards the door. The first step to leaving Alec's life was leaving the institute, for good.

"Magnus, don't go. Please stay." It was Isabelle, now standing from her chair. The panic in her apparent, afraid she might lose another brother. "This is not your fault. Alec loves you." Isabelle walked over to Magnus and grabbed his hands. "He needs you here. Whatever is wrong with him, he's going to need help getting through."

"I'm what's wrong, Isabelle. None of this would be happening if I just stayed out of his life like I planned on doing. I need to let this go, and so does he! Let me leave." Magnus said, pulling away from her. This was it. The last time he'd see the institute, the last time he would see Jace, Isabelle, and Alec. 'It's over' he kept reminding himself. Once again though, Magnus was interrupted in trying to leave. This time it was a voice in his mind. _Magnus, I must speak to you. Join me in the infirmary._ He turned to see the silent brother in the doorway. Why did he have to speak to him? Either way, Magnus wasn't going to turn him down, so he followed him through the door, ignoring Jaces stare. "What do you need?" Magnus stopped at the sight of Alec lying still on the bed. _I need you to wake him up._ Wake him up? "Why can't you do that?" Magnus took a few steps closer to the bed, watching Alecs chest rise and fall ever so slightly. _His body is filled with demon blood. I'm surprised he was awake as long as he was. There however, was something mixed in it, something I have yet to figure out. It appears to be some type of magic. Someone has been experimenting on Alexander. What they were trying to accomplish is unclear so far, but it was been changing his body._ "Wait. Experimenting?" Magnus looked down at the boy, grabbing his hand. "Is that what you were doing for the last couple days, Alec? Why? Who did this to you?" _He can't hear you. If you wake him up though, we can actually talk to him. _Magnus let go of his hand and nodded. "Right" Rubbing his hands together, he got into the position to begin. Soon blue spark were flying from his fingers, and he was working opening those beautiful eyes again.

Magnus had fallen asleep on the chair against the wall when he was awoken by a sound. The greatest sound of his life, Alecs voice. "Magnus, why are you here?" He said groggily while trying to sit up.

"No, lay back down." Magnus jumped to his feet and was by his side in seconds. "I have some things I need to ask you, about what you were doing the past 3 days." Alec went still, his eyes immediately going away from his face.

"I can't tell you what I was doing." He whispered, still avoiding his gaze.

"I need to know, Alec. What is in your body? Who did this to you? Why did you let someone inject things inside you? You could have died! There was demon blood in you, did you know that? If they had put in any more, you wouldn't have survived past a couple minutes. What were you thinking?" Magnus blurted out, his irritation clear. The whole situation was so stupid, he couldn't believe it was Alec who did it. Who let someone just use him like that.

"Stop, Magnus. I can't tell you. I promised." Alec turned over the other way, trying to get away from the conversation.

"Well, I hope your promise was worth your life." He was angry now. His remorse was gone for his condition. He couldn't believe this at all. Magnus stood, ready to get someone else in there with him because he wasn't sure he could be with him much longer without yelling at him. There was just one last thing he needed to say before going. "Do you-" He paused, turning his head a bit to look over in his direction. "Do you have any idea what your death would have done to me? I don't think I could lose you, and I never thought it would have ever been this soon." Alec was silent. That was all he had left to get out, so he started for the door.

"She promised." Alec spoke, sitting up. That caught Magnus' attention.

"Who promised?" Magnus' interest had been sparked and he was back to his side, awaiting a reply.

"She said, if I helped her, she would help me. That there was a way no one knew about, that she found out from a warlock. All I needed to do was help her with a couple experiments. I had no idea what they were for. I hardly even remember what happened." Alec finally made eye contact with him as he talked. This just formed more questions, but only one seemed important enough to ask at the moment.

"Help you with what?"


End file.
